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    L’empire des Lumieres

    by artemisdrawsblog on 2 March, 2012 at 11:53 am
    Posted In: comics, musing

    It has been well over a year since my last blog post, as I haven’t really got accustomed to putting my thoughts in such a public sphere (assuming of course, that anyone is reading this spiel). I temporarily abandoned Winter 1946 last year after I could not quite gel the story and the narrative together, for it was to be another ‘maximum impact’ comic like The Card Players and needed a very tight composition without superfluous imagery, and so I decided to move on to another painting to see if I could feel more inspired. This has always been a painting that resonated with me because at first glance, the scene seems appealing and yet also very ordinary. An ordinary street at night with a lone glowing streetlamp – already, that itself is loaded with psychoanalytical significance for me and it is an image I return to time and time again in my daydreaming. And that Magritte should make a Surrealist painting of it! But wait… the sky is also bright, it is clearly daytime, but the street is darkened, as if it is night, and the streetlamp is lit. This incongruity perhaps, makes it Surrealist? It is much more subtle than most Surrealist paintings and that may be why I like it so much. I do not know what Magritte intended to make of this picture nor do I know anything about psychoanalysis, but the intrigue and mystery of this painting made me select it for my final story in the set that I intend to publish in a little ‘novella’ sometime this year.

    The Empire of Light

    L'empire des Lumieres by Rene Magritte

    There are no people in this scene, so it is difficult to see at first glance what story one can weave this image into. A Surrealistic story springs to mind, but having things that make no sense in a nonsensical plot is not necessarily a pleasing thing to read. I started working on this story very late in the year 2011, and although I still lacked my early discipline of daily work, I managed to finish more than half by Christmas. I took a break for Christmas and the new year, and then came back, feeling that I had lost direction in my work. But I still had to finish this, so I pushed on and managed to draw the final page just yesterday. 11 pages in total and yet it has felt like an arduous journey.

    SPOILER ALERT for what is to follow. The entire story takes place in only a few hours, on a cold and rainy autumnal evening somewhere in Anytown, USA. Carole Bell, our protagonist, leaves work late and goes home much like any other single young woman, choosing to walk in the drizzle instead of riding in a crowded bus. Very early on, we get surreal glimpses and wonder – is this happening in her own mind? On her way home, she encounters gratuitious rudeness from a stranger as well as the desolation of a beggar, inner-city phenomena that we are rather inured to. The steak at the butcher’s seems to speak to her (echoes of another Magritte painting there). She passes a religious billboard several times (the significance of this is to come later). She goes home, where we get the first hint of her real emotional life, waiting for a letter from a lover perhaps? The letter never arrives, and she goes back to her apartment, disappointed. On the way, she meets her neighbour who is wheeling a scarecrow around in a wheelbarrow, like children used to do with effigies of Guy Fawkes. We get the impression that her neighbour is curiously whacked.

    She goes home and listens to a voicemail telephone message from her mother, who breezily tells Carole that she and her father have booked tickets for a cruise, “unless Carole wants to go home for Christmas”. We get a further sign of rejection there. Carole is alone in this world, her parents are kind but indifferent and possibly, distant. She faces the prospect of spending a lonely Christmas alone in the city. While cooking her steak for dinner, we are given more context about Carole and her upbringing. Nothing too much is revealed apart from her desire to be alone, preferring the company of imaginary friends to real people who used to mock her throughout a difficult adolescence. We see her with glasses of wine, toasting an imaginary friend in the privacy of her living room, talking to herself and trying to pretend she isn’t as alone as she really is. She falls asleep and wakes up to the smell of burning meat. She chucks the meat in the bin, and ends up eating baked beans while listening to late night radio. I imagine this is an experience we can all relate to…

    As she is washing up, suddenly the doorbell rings and she is jarred from her own fantasy existence. This intrusion proves almost too much to bear. She opens the door (another reference to a Magritte, ‘The Son of Man’) and sees her colleague standing there. He is clearly interested in her and uses a limp excuse to come by her place in the evening after work. Their conversation is forced and awkward and he mentions that her ‘weirdo neighbour’ had given him a religious pamphlet on his way in. He then sees two glasses on the coffee table and thinks Carole has company. She lies, in order to make him leave. She wants to be left alone, and yet after she closes the door on him, the silence descends and she feels desperately alone again. She has been rejected, and rejects others herself, to be alone with her ideal fantasy. We start to get the idea that she is… not mad, perhaps,  but maybe a little unhinged. How many of us have not preferred imaginary company to some real people? Jesting aside, she goes to clear away the wine glasses and looks at the pamphlet. Again, there is a quote from the Gospel of John, “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” And the story is called, The Empire of Light. But there isn’t a lot of light in the imagery, instead there are lots of bright lights and shadows, a lot of contrasts. We see Carole in the shadows much of the time. As she begins clearing up the glasses, she starts to speak to her imaginary lover again, but this time rather more beseechingly. The shock of the little interlude with her colleague has clearly unsettled her fantasy. Her lover has not written, they have not shown themselves ever since “that first time”. As she washes the glasses, she has a sinking realisation that her true love is beyond her reach, that she has rejected reality in favour of a chimera. And yet as she readies herself for bedtime, she reminisces, and longs to be back home on the wintry farm, where she woke up one morning and saw a figure of someone wandering across the snow. Man or woman, we do not even know. It was this quotidian image that struck her, and she promised to herself that she would “remember it forever”. That person was her true love, or at least, represented her notion of her true love. Perhaps that extent of fantasising is scarcely believeable, particularly because we do not know if Carole had even seen its face, or had any other reason for developing a sudden romantic fixation. Does this stretch credibility too far?

    At any rate, she goes to her bedroom, sets her digital alarm clock (which hasn’t melted) and the reality of her loneliness hits her full in the face. She must bear the burden of her isolation and loneliness (which in a way, she has chosen for herself), and she breaks down and cries… but then her windows seem to give off light, she goes to the window to see what is going on, and there the Magritte painting of the title is introduced. Suddenly there is daylight, despite it being late at night. She stands there watching for a long time and feels she has seen a vision. There is no human accessory to Carole’s epiphany-of-sorts, it is entirely supernatural. It may be linked to John 9:5 “I am the light of the world”. She may have come away with a religious experience, or nothing at all, it is up to the reader to interpret. One might think that she is quite completely mad. It is open to interpretation but I do not know if I have left the reader with enough cues to make up their mind. Carole clearly feels re-enervated by what she has seen.

    In this story I wanted to explore the nature of paradoxes, and how we sometimes act in a way that goes against our own wants and needs – in Carole’s quest for intimacy, she repudiates the only person (her colleague) who offers her some attention and kindness. Instead she turns towards imaginary figures to fulfil her deepest desires. Have I succeeded in conveying this? The ending and composition of the story is not as tight as in some of the earlier ones, it is a difficult theme to explore in comic form and I do not feel comfortable composing a narrative in the third person, and linking it with the imagery. I did enjoy drawing the frames though, much more than in previous stories. I think this is a style I shall stick to.

    So the story is done. I would be interested to know your thoughts, as always, dear Reader.

    Winter, 1946

    by artemisdrawsblog on 28 February, 2011 at 10:29 am
    Posted In: musing

    I had intended my little collection of short stories to comprise only 5 stories, but the total length is only about 70 pages which is insufficient for a ‘proper’ book, I feel. So I’ve decided to add one or maybe two more stories to this collection to flesh it out. I have no shortage of ideas about paintings to use, but then weaving a story around the scenes is another matter. I’ve been fascinated by some of Wyeth’s paintings for years, particularly the iconic “Christina’s World”, but perhaps that is a little too iconic for my purposes. So I’ve settled on this painting, ‘Winter, 1946’ for my next story. I finally worked out the broad outline of the story yesterday, after mulling on it off and on for a long time. It will be something of a ghost story.

    Andrew Wyeth

    Winter 1946 (Andrew Wyeth)

    There is something haunting about the image of the adolescent boy, looking as if he is fleeing something. At first glance, one might think he is a pilot, with that hat, trying to evade capture after being shot down. But this painting has an interesting history; the boy is apparently running in sight of a railroad, where Wyeth’s father, the painter N.C Wyeth, had been killed only the year before he painted this. Of course, my story will have nothing to do with this.

    Through some research on the web, I’ve just been learning of the difficulties of getting published and marketing one’s work to the masses. I suspect I do tend to write and draw stories for people who do not usually read graphic novels; so that is my main hurdle to overcome – how to get their attention? People are still dismissive when it comes to ‘comics’ and do not see it as any vaguely serious artistic endeavour. Perhaps I am just fooling myself about the merit of this sort of work, perhaps it would have been better to write a novel after all, at least one might be taken a little more seriously?

    Making a small printed book

    by artemisdrawsblog on 22 February, 2011 at 2:28 pm
    Posted In: musing, publishing

    It certainly took a while but I’ve done it at last – got all my scans redone (which was painstaking!) and put into separate PDF files. Not exactly the size I had originally envisaged, but it turns out that all my comic pages actually fit nicely onto A4 paper and the text isn’t too small to be unreadable. I purchased Apple’s latest Pages software in order to get a simple layout manager to make up this little book when I decided that InDesign was much too expensive and probably overkill for my relatively simple needs. There are 5 stories so far and 73 pages in total, so I am mulling over the idea of writing and drawing 1-2 more stories to pad out the final book. I’d like my first book to be about 100 pages in length. When printed on double-sided paper, that will still merely feel like a slim volume in one’s hand.

    I went to this little printers in Covent Garden (http://www.fastflowonline.co.uk), at 10p per side, it wasn’t too unreasonable at all and they bound the little book for me too, all for less than 10 quid. The printing quality wasn’t superb and the paper they used was cheap photocopier paper, but one can’t complain too much about a proof copy! In fact it was a joy to hold my work in my hands as a completed book, and the stories were far easier and more enjoyable to read in a printed format too – it was too tricky to get many people to read whole stories on the web. But at nearly 10 quid per copy, it’s still too expensive for me to be running off copies for friends. My new Epson Stylus printer at home still can’t cope with printing this without a blueish cast, even on a b+w setting.

    At any rate, I will have to start hobnobbing around, searching for ways to get published, or self-published even – if it comes to that.

    Note to oneself: I rewrote some of the dialogue of The Cafe Terrace and used the Ashcan BB font instead of the original Chalkduster. Just in case I need to remember this for the future….!

    The Cafe Terrace is finally done!

    by artemisdrawsblog on 4 February, 2011 at 11:00 am
    Posted In: comics, drawing, musing

    It took almost a whole year from conception to the final product, but it is finished at last! This has been a rather difficult story for me to plot, draw and script the dialogue for, as I had intended it to be a few interwoven stories taking place at a cafe terrace based on Van Gogh’s famous night-time painting. The idea evolved from my original plan for the ‘cafe’ to possess a consciousness and a sort of omniscient narrator’s voice, to what it is now, interleaved stories involving the different patrons of the cafe and the young waiter, who begins and ends the tale with his melancholy, brooding presence.

    After finishing “The Dessert”, I realised I wanted to explore a relationship along similar lines, i.e that of the secretly homosexual husband, and the emotions of the wife when she discovers the truth. Given my own limitations and inexperience in the comics format, I sometimes wonder if this isn’t overly ambitious story-telling, and I leave it to my readers to tell me whether or not it was a success. I have had such varied feedback from my stories and it is always interesting to hear different perspectives. It is all too easy to get into a cul-de-sac when one is interpreting and reading one’s own work, so feedback from others is always refreshing. Since I had been busy with other unrelated projects, there were many months when I did absolutely no work on the story at all. In September 2010, being confined in a hotel room in southern Italy while gales blew outside actually forced me to tweak the storyline and rewrite the final few pages on a borrowed laptop, after months of absolute paralysis as far as this work was concerned.

    This was also the first work I had where I experimented with colour – just a few greys and blues, and I found it appealed to a lot of readers. However, I’ve decided in the end to keep it starkly black and white and more in keeping with the rest of my stories in this collection. I’m not averse to experimenting with subdued hues, but for now, I’ll stick to my black inks and see where my inspiration leads me next!

    So, here it is, the Cafe Terrace is finally finished. And I hope it won’t take another year for me to finish another short story.

    A new beginning

    by artemisdrawsblog on 5 August, 2010 at 11:35 am
    Posted In: comics, drawing, musing, tools

    Well I made a major blunder. I had decided more than a month ago to move away from Dreamhost (after enjoying a full year’s webhosting for only $5, a special Father’s Day offer, ne’er to be repeated!) because of its high costs, to something a little more economical, in keeping with my very modest webhosting demands. After all, this site barely sees any traffic and there seemed to be little point in retaining a hosting plan with plenty of bells and whistles which went unnoticed.

    I forgot to migrate my database before switching my domain name over to my new host, so excited was I at moving into a new home…. so now I have to rely on Dreamhost’s support team to help me. I may have lost all my old blog posts and am trying not to feel too dejected about it. I may end up rewriting my thoughts on all my short stories so far.

    Anyway it’s a new beginning. Let’s hope this webhost proves as reliable as Dreamhost was for the last 12 months. I’m tied up for the next 2 years.

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